My world built of darkness
by Amethystfairy1
Summary: Seventy years I've been concealing it. I put up the illusion of interest at the sights. I hide it for fear that other powers will attack me. Who would notice the way I move, fearful I may trip and fall? Who would notice my eyes are no longer sparked with any color? If any did notice, who would ever care or wish to help me, so weakened inside as I am? Would you? {Blind!Japan.}
1. Secrets in the family

**_I love some good East Asia angst! :D Here's another one! I really wanted to try this idea, I saw one with the 'blinded' theory that was about America, Canada, and England, so I wanted to give it a shot._**

 ** _But naturally, I used Japan instead!_**

 ** _Because he's just so much fun to mess with and read about being messed with! He may be a little OOC, I've never written from his point of voice before, but I wanted to try something of a challenge. Well, please enjoy!_**

* * *

 _Considering all things..._

I thought as I sat on the porch of my home, I knew my empty chocolate brown eyes were looking the same as they always had, staring out at the forest around my home.

Who would ever notice my eyes were a fraction duller?

 _I could have been far worse injured. I deserved this pain and punishment for my crimes. I feel no ill will towards America, or any of the other Allies. I have no urge, nor any right, to fill resentful towards them. Yet, I recall when I first was pulled into this world of darkness, that I would always feel a, pang, whenever America's cheerful voice filled my ears. Whenever England would grumble misgivings about America or France to me. I would fill so filled with the need to stand, slam my palms down and scream the truth out. To here their apology._

I reached to the side and picked up my teacup.

Who would have ever noticed that I whiffed my first attempt at the glass?

 _My eyes, I am told, look no different, only my doctor and my boss know of this...condition. I fear what other superpowers would do if they every found out, they could try to take advantage of me. Advantage of the fact that my world is built of darkness._

I set my teacup back down, careful not to set it on an uneven surface.

Who would have ever noticed how my hand lingered on the glass a moment longer to make sure it would not topple?

 _I have not told anyone. Even nations I trust as close friends, even if our national standards are high and low. Not even my family has noticed. My remaining at home for a few years after the war for nothing but expected of someone like me, who had only recently come out of isolationism. I do not want any to know. For reasons I feel are valid. But still, I feel so empty, so lonely, whenever the others begin the laugh. Be it at an amusing picture, or at a humorous program on television. I am forced to smile, to pretend I understand the joke. To pretend, to put up the illusion, that color still graces my eyes. That shapes and light are still something I see everyday._

My sightless brown eyes looked out at the cherry blossoms I knew were blooming in colors of vivid pink. I know I once took it all for granted, they face that I could looked out my window, and see the cherry blossoms blooming, see the pedals drifting in the wind. I regret not swallowing up all the shapes, all the colors, how bright the sky was blue, how gorgeous my lands are in full bloom. I would have spent all my time watching, letting my eyes roam, if I knew it was a sight I would never see again.

 _I'm blind, that is true. Not only that but I have no one to ask for help should I need it. But I will not let it stop me. I have survived August 6th and 9th, 1945. I have survived 70 years without anyone discovering my secret. No one knows any difference, the war is behind us. Far, far behind us. Another page in world history that I have seen penned, just as I have seen other pages written over thousands of years. Now I, the personification of the nation of Japan, if not literally, at least figuratively, am looking towards the future._

 ** _The world summit meeting hall._**

"Ciao Japan!"

I picked up the sound of sprinting footsteps and the whiff of garlic and tomatoes, also a slight hint of acrylic, telling me my friend had been painting. As if the greeting weren't obvious as to who my attacker was.

"Greetings, Italy-kun." I said turning in his direction, I could tell by his running feet.

I winced when he pounced on me in a hug.

"Imbecile! Get off of him!" Italy was ripped off me a moment later by another who smelt of wurst and the slight cling of beer and dogs.

"Greetings, Germany-san." I said, turning my eyes up in his direction and bowing.

"Japan." He said stiffly.

After some pointless, yet endearing, small talk, the three of us turned towards the meeting hall, I allowed Italy to rush ahead.

He opened the door and held it open for me, I entered and made my way to my chair, counting in my head my footsteps. I had learned that, so long as I took measured steps all the time, I could easily memorize how to get to certain places outside my home.

I settled into my chair and laid out my notes, though I never used them, my boss normally wrote them for me, to carry in so to seem as though I was reading them.

It had worked so far.

I waited as the room filled, offering a greeting to any who said hello to me.  
"Sup, Japan!"

"Greetings, America-san." I said, nodding in his direction as I heard him collapse into his chair near the head of the table, I heard twin thunks and winced.

"America-san, please take your feet down off the table, it is not proper manners."

"Oh, yeah, sorry." Two more thunks told me he'd obeyed me.

"Another meeting...how fun."

"Greetings, Switzerland-san." I said, nodding in the direction the less then enthusiastic voice had come from.

"Japan." That was the most pleasant greeting I'd gotten from him so far. Nothing about beating me with a peace prize, or, how did he say? I believe is was me needing to 'Man up'?

"Hey, Japan..." A laid back voice seeming to be in slow motion called.

"Greetings, Greece-san." I said, nodding to him ask well.

"Good afternoon, Japan, doing well?"

"Yes, England-san, thank you, and you?" I replied politely.

"Quite fine, but I'm sure these idiots will change that." The british man replied as he sat down at my side, I gave a small humored hum in response. I had Italy to my left and Britain to my right, at least one of them was level headed.

The meeting started up, and the usual angry retorts, speeches, ridiculous suggestions, and fist fights broke out aplenty.

My ears were aching, and soon my head would be too, I really had to remember to start packing some Advil in my briefcase.

Or, perhaps, some earplugs.

As usual, I focused my useless eyes in some distant corner and focused on my hearing, whenever America suggested anything, no matter how pointless, redundant, or downright insane, I would speak.

"I agree with America-san."

And that was it, as usual, I never spoke much at meetings, but it was necessary for me to attend. The meetings always put me on edge, worry of someone realizing my disability plagued me. If it were ever discovered, I couldn't imagine the scandal or the danger.

 _'Japan is blind, can you believe that Japan is blind?' or 'We can't trust him with anything anymore. We need to coddle him and protect him.' Or what I truly fear, 'Japan is blind, this is our chance, we should attack him, we can overpower him!'_

I let out a slow breath.

 _Did you hear? Japan is blind. No one will ever believe it, but Japan is blind._

No need to worry, I wasn't going to be discovered. Never would, I was far to good at playing this game by now.

"Hey, Japan, bro, what do you think of this chart I made?"

 _Oh Kami._

Moving quickly, I leaned forward and began to 'read' some of my notes, putting a look of extreme concern on my face.  
"I-I do believe I have the wrong notes. I apologize, America-san, I'll be back."

With this, I stood and left the meeting hall, the moment I was out the door, i took off running. Sprinting down the halls, I could hear the echo of my footsteps.

 _One two three four five six, door._

I reached out and seized the door handle, pulling it open and stepping outside

 _One two three four five six seven eight, gate._

I reached the gate and moved quickly to my car, knocking on the bad door, my driver, who waited in the tinted windowed vehicle since, no matter how good I was with my hearing or sense of smell or touch, there was no way on earth I could ever drive. He unlocked the door for me, I reached in and took out the proper notes for the meeting, seizing the first stack of paper that I could find. I always did this, it was a back up in case someone ever asked me to look at something.

I took the notes and walked far slower back up towards the meeting hall, by the time I arrived, the issue over the chart had been resolved, and there was no longer a need for me to look at or read anything.

The rest of the meeting passed peacefully, and as soon as it ended, I left quickly.

Not quickly enough.

Before I could get all the way out the door behind the rest of the nations, someone seized my arm.

The scent of hamburgers and slight outdoors type odor made it all to obvious.

"America-san? What do you need?" I asked stiffly, turning to him as the rest of the nations filed out. We were alone. Just the two of us. A situation I absolutely loathed and had done my best for seventy years never to get into.

"Dude, I wanted to ask you about this chart I made, c'mon, what do you think?"

He raised up the chart, I heard the rustling of paper.

I was internally mourning that I hadn't full out sprinted from the meeting room as I squinted fruitlessly into my dark world.

It was no use.

 _The doctor said it was permanent, baka. You'll ever see again, and squinting certainly will not help anything. You have to say something or he will only get suspicious!_

I gritted my teeth and shot in the dark.

"It's...very nice, America-san, well done."

"Thanks dude, I knew you'd like it! I used the style of your anime dudes in it! It's my new version of the Super Hero Global Man! You remember him, right?" I could envision him flailing his arms joyously, and could hear him doing so, his jacket tail flapping like he were about to take flight.

I couldn't help feeling like I'd just dodged a bullet, I'd guessed right, said the right thing.

"Hai, I remember him. The...ah...genetically engineered super hero, correct?" I did indeed recall him talking about that some time ago.

"That's totes it, dude, so glad you remembered, no else did! Bummer, I wish you hadn't had to run off to get your notes during my presenta...Japan?"

"Nani?"  
"Why do you have a bunch of blank papers instead of notes?"

"Nani!?" I demanded, much more horrified as I looked down at the papers.

My eyes still saw nothing but darkness.

"I-I...I do not know. I must have been in a rush and grabbed the wrong papers." I said simply, praying he'd buy it.

America may have been happy go lucky, but he wasn't an idiot.

"Dude, that's not like you. Are you alright? You've been awful jumpy today."

I chewed my bottom lip, I felt like I was cornered. Either I made up an excuse that was believable, or I told him the truth.

I went with something even I thought was totally insane.  
"I am having difficulty seeing, America-san."

Total silence. Why had I just said that? Difficulty? Did my situation even count as a difficulty?

Then laughter filled the air.

"Yeah, man, I know how you feel, I get like that sometimes, thats the reason for good old 'Texas' here." He chuckled, I could envision him pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose.

"H-Hai. Well, I think I'll go home, perhaps take a brief rest." I was backpedalling quickly, while there was still a chance I could get away without being caught.

"You do that, my brother, don't want you grabbing the wrong papers again! Later!"

"Goodbye!"

I slid from the door and was off again.

 _One two three four five..._

Before I could reach six, I slammed into something.

"Aii-yah!"

 _Luck just isn't on my side today, is it?_

I though desperately as I sat up, I'd been knocked flat on my back, and so had the person I'd charged into.

"Japan! What was that? I saw you coming from the door to the meeting room! You have been so clumsy lately, you know? Seriously, aru! What are you? Blind?"

Now that...that hit home _hard._

I gritted my teeth and found myself dry of all reasoning.

 _How dare he say such a thing to me? How would he even know? Why would he even look close enough to notice!? Close enough to see the way my hand lingers on my cup? To see the way I stare so blankly, without any hint of recognition of reaction? To ask why it is that my eyes are no longer bright! Why they are no longer alight and curious like they were when I so young? When I looked up at you, thinking I could always count on you to understand me!?_

"So what if I am! Would anyone notice? Would anyone care? Who would care if I was blind, _YOU?_ " I barked, coming to a stand.

My hands were fisted and I felt heat in my eyes, I realized that tears of rage were brimming in my eyelids.

"Kiku..." I heard him begin, still sitting on the floor in shock.

 _Don't 'Kiku' me!_

I pushed forward, dodging around him, taking my sixth step and fumbling for the doorknob. I whiffed it on the first two attempts before clutching it tightly and ripping the door open.

I took off up the sidewalk, hands fisted, struggling to maintain my calm demeanor.

Never mind that, I was struggled to _regain_ my calm demeanor.

I arrived at my car and knocked twice on the door.

The driver behind the tinted windows opened the back door and I leapt in, allowing myself to be whisked away.

I buckled my seatbelt and leaned forward with my elbows on my knees, covering my face in my hands. Warm tears flowed through the cracked in between them. Cracks I supposed light was pouring through, though I was unable to tell. I was, at the moment, happy that my car was built with the drivers cab and back passenger seats separate. I leaned back in my seat, arms slumming limply to my sides, and let out a choked breath.

Had I just spilled my secret to the last person I'd ever wanted to admit it to?

 ** _Japan's home._**

I was inside, I'd gone into my isolation mode, my blanket dragged over my head, curled up in the corner, fingers skimming through a book in Braille.

All the lights were out, why would I bother to turn them on? I didn't need them.

 _It has been two days since the meeting, I know he'll come. He'll come any day know, demanding answers._

I feel like I jinx myself sometimes, for the exact moment this thought came through my mind, there was a knock at the door.

I groaned and came to a stand, retying my blue kimono.

I smoothed my hair, which was surely a mess, and walked towards the door, trying to swallow the dread in my throat.

I unlocked it and waited, there it was, the scent of homemade dumplings, the scent I always associated with him, even before those bombs cost me my sight.

"China." I greeted.

"I remember when you used to call me Gege or Onii-san like the others, aru."

I could imagine him pouting, arms crossed with his overly long sleeves dangling.

"Please, come in."

My hands slid across the wall, easily finding the light switch for the hallway. It was still day, but the hallway was on one of the areas of my home that needed lighting at any point in the day.

At least, that was how I remembered it, though my memory of what things look like has become more and more distorted over the years.

"Thank you, aru."

He came in and slipped off his shoes, I forced a polite smile as I walked down my hall and into my kitchen, switching on the lights though I no need or use for them.

"Would you care for some tea?" I asked, already reaching for the kettle. My entire kitchen was immaculately organized, I'd memorized the lay out, so that I didn't have to depend on another to cook for me, I'd put my foot down on that front less then a year after my injury.

"Kiku, you know why I'm here."

 _Human name. Lovely. He's serious._

I focused my eyes in his general direction and exhaled slowly, hoping I didn't look to nervous.

"No, I'm afraid I don't, if it's because I ran into you at the meeting, I deeply apologize. I was not watching where I was going and was in quite the rush."

"Kiku, you said you were blind, aru."

My mind instantly conjured the image of the older brother of my youth, standing above me when I was small with his arms crossed, one foot tapping as he demanded an answer for a shattered vase or a torn scroll.

"Kiku?" He repeated.

"I do not recall saying I was blind." I replied levelheadedly. This was true, I had never spoken those three words I had forbidden to ever let leave my mouth.

"You ran into me, I joked that you were blind, you seemed to get even angrier and yelled at me, which was very unlike you I might add, then you bolted, aru. Why?"

I shook my head.

"As I said before, I deeply apologize for any offense, I was not in the best of moods and was in a very large rush, so I may of said some things that were untrue."

China sighed deeply, I heard him emptying the air from his lungs.

"Fine."

For a moment he let me believe I was off the hook.

"Then prove it. What color is this?"

I knew he was holding up something, some sort of paper, I heard it crinkle when he pulled it from his pocket.

I winced, cornered again.

No lie would suffice for this, no time of excuse for why I could not determine the color.

I prayed that my shot in the dark would hit it's target.

"Clearly red."

I said, hoping that the older would select his favorite color as a demonstration.

"Kiku, this is a menu for Chinese take out, aru. It's green and gold and white. Not red." China reprimanded.

I was caught. No longer cornered, no long hiding, but caught, caught without any escape.

I averted my eyes to a far away corner.

"So I haven't been seeing well lately." I admitted, never detailing exactly how long 'lately' was.

He stepped closer, I unwillingly lifted my gaze up to his face. Where I was guessing his face was.

I was off.

"Kiku, why are you staring at my chest?"

I winced and lifted my gaze higher.

"Kiku, are you blind, aru?"

"I have been having some difficulty with judging the..."

"Kiku!" The shout startled me into stopping my attempt at an explanation.

"Are. You. Blind?" Slower, no way for me to misinterpret it.

My eyes were burning, burning just like they were all those years ago when the last thing I saw was a mushroom cloud blossoming full in the sky above the city, before everything faded to gray, and finally into the unrelenting blackness.

I gritted my teeth, I knew this heat was different, it could not be compared to the agony I had felt on that day, but the heat had it's effects. I felt something slipping down my cheeks. Realized that even if my eyes were blind, they could still cry tears. Crying for the second time this week, what kind of weakling had I become?

"Hai."

The word was like an arrow dragged from a horrible wound. Painful to say, before relief flooded in.

 _The hiding is over. Someone knows, no more coping alone. He knows._

Now that it had been confirmed, I heard a shaky gasp from China, then I was enveloped by long silky sleeves.

"How long, aru?" He whispered.

I couldn't believe myself as I returned the hug, returned the embrace, it felt nice to have someone comfort me, I hadn't had anyone for hours after I'd first suffered, the first moment I'd opened my eyes and been met with endless darkness. Even after that, having my citizens, or my doctor, comfort me with words they hoped would be helpful. With gentle pats on the back, or even on the rarest occasion, a hug. It could never be compared to being held tightly in my big brothers arms. Someone I could remember running too when I'd been hurt many centuries before. It gave me the feeling that everything would be alright, a sort of closure.

"I don't want too..."

"How long? What was it?" He repeated. His voice was firm, yet still kind at the same time.

I gently pulled away from him, then I let my feet carry me around into my living room, through the hall, not bothering with lights. China didn't flick them on, he continued into the room behind me.

I sat down on the pillows and he sat next to me, and that was when I felt my chest beginning to seize.

Uneven breaths were coming short and fast, I covered my face with my hands. I didn't want him staring at my useless, sightless, pointless, dull eyes.

 _He knows. He knows. He knows and he'll tell the entire world! He knows._

It was like a death sentence. I couldn't hide myself behind excuses and sidestepped questions anymore.

"Kiku."

I felt a hand on my shoulder.

"How long?"

"August 9th, 1945." I gave up the date.

I felt China's grip on my shoulder tighten, I heard him let out a very slow breath as he tried to stay calm.

"You've been blind...for seventy years, aru?" He asked.

I could hear the strain in his voice, he didn't want to believe it.

 _Perhaps he will care._

"Hai. I hid it best I could. I was afraid of other superpowers taking advantage of my disability."

I believe him hearing me call it a disability was what set him off.

"America did this." An angry hiss. I lifted my head.

"It's his fault. He stole your sight! That war was horrible, you and me and him all did horrible things! But you didn't want all of those things, I know you didn't. You had no choice but to do as they said. And he took your sight for it!"

I winced as I heard the swiping of his sleeves as he flailed his arms in the air. I didn't bother pushing him away, instead I put my hand up, and for the first time I could remember, groped blindly with a single hand. I knew he was staring at me until I finally found his arm, once I did I moved my hand onto his own.

"He did not know that would occur." I said quickly.

"Your _defending_ him!? You've been suffering in darkness for seventy years and your _defending_ the one who did this to you?" He demanded.

I sightlessly gazed in straight forward, I knew from memory that China was only just barely taller then me, so I aimed my eyes as close to his own as I could.

"Kiku...I don't understand. They look the same, aru." He said.

I blinked.

"I know that. My doctor said they are only a fraction duller then they were before. But they've lost that light. The light that showed I was looking, that I could see you. I wish I could see you." I didn't know where the words were coming from.

"She said that the reason I can't see is because instead of refracting light, my eyes are absorbing light now. No refraction means no vision." I explained, putting it in simple terms, my grip on his hand tightened.

'We've tried to get them fixed, but even todays technology can do nothing. It is permanent, because the pain of the bombings will never truly fade. It will never be forgotten. My sight will never return."

I get the feeling Yao nodded before recalling that I couldn't see him doing so, and hurriedly saying.

"I understand now, aru."

I leaned back.

"So no one ever suspected?" I could not resist asking.

"Never. I certainly did not, aru. Though Hong Kong did insist you were acting a bit strange early on, we all blew it off."

"So Hong Kong could tell. He was always the observant one." I hummed.

After a few moments left in silence, I heard.

"I'm going to punch America in the gut at the next meeting, aru."

"Please do not."

"I'll blame it on him having not paid me back yet."

"Please do not."

"I'm going to. Then I'll kick him in the shins, a few times for good measure."

"Please do not."

China let out a sigh and leaned back into the pillows.

"I don't get this, though. Your so calm, aru."

"China, it has been seventy years since the last time color came into my world of black. There's nothing to gain from me mourning it. Those two cities are my eyes. Like your hair is the great wall, and America's glasses are Texas, and Italy's hair curl is the border between himself and Romano."

"Really, aru?"

"I don't know, I just assume that's what it is. Such a big curl has to represent something, right?"

I shrugged my shoulders.

"I think...you should tell the others, aru."

"Nani? Why?" I asked, instantly on defense.

"Please, you cannot tell anyone else, especially not America-san, or anyone for that matter, if you do they may try to take advantage of it and..."

"Kiku, calm down. If you ever tell America or not is your decision. I meant your other siblings. Li Xiang, Mei Mei, Hyung Soo and Yong Soo, aru."

"Why?" I deadpanned.

"You've been avoiding us for decades, aru." China reminded.

"I have. Because you all know me too well, you would have found out."

I countered, yet I found myself considering the idea.

 _Having someone you could ask for help would be nice, going to new places is difficult for me, always has been, perhaps..._

"Maybe, we shall see." I ruled finally, I could hear Yao groan.

"You always say that, aru! Give me an answer, here and now."

I chewed my lip, something that was becoming a bad habit of mine, and finally spoke, after crossing my arms.

"I don't trust Yong Soo with a secret as far I could throw him. I trust Hyung Soo and Mei Mei, I know they can keep secrets, I have enough material to blackmail Li Xiang into keeping his mouth shut."

"What?"

"Nothing." I said quickly.

"Thats it, lets go, aru! I am taking control!" China exclaimed as he stood up and seized me by the wrist."

"Out the door to my house, aru!" Yao declared.

"I am not even dressed!" I hurried to point out.

China released my wrist and I turned and took my measured steps to the stairs, I counted the amount of stairs I had stepped up and went into my room. I reached my closet and felt my way through my well organized clothes, searching for my usual clothes.

 _What will I say, how do you tell your siblings you've been blinded and have been hiding it from them? Do I just come out and say it? No, then they'll all laugh and think I'm kidding. Do I lead up to it? "You all remember the time I was bombed, right?' of course that will work out so well. I will have to discuss this with China on the way, but I honestly still don't even want to believe I've been exposed, after so long trying to hide it, one little slip up, and I'll have to face them._

I dressed in my white uniform and exited my room. So much for a few weeks in peaceful isolation. I walked down a few stairs, then froze.

 _Forgot to count._

I cursed in my head.

"Kiku, you ok, aru?"

"I forgot to count." I repeated this aloud.

"What do you mean, aru?"

I rolled my unseeing eyes, no big deal, I insisted.

I made my way confidently down the rest of the staircase, but then I stepped as it there was another stair only for my foot to meet the even floor.

I nearly tripped but caught myself on the wall.

"Kiku!" Yao stepped forward and took my arm.

"I'm fine." I insisted, pulling my arm away.

As we walked out the door, I felt his eyes on me, and spoke finally.

"Why are you scrutinizing my every step?"

"Because, now that I know your blind, I'm amazing you can get around so easily, aru."

"Oh." I said shortly.

We got into Yao's car, I knew he was going to infuse his nation speed into it so we wouldn't literally have to drive across the ocean waters separating myself from his place.

As we drove, he asked me.

"How do you do it?"

"Do what?" I asked politely, my hands were folded calmly in my lap, and I was still trying to dream up the proper way of speaking to my family.

"Walk."

I felt the incredible urge to be a smart ass and say something like.

"Well first I put one foot forward, then the other one, and then the other one goes in front of that one, and then I'm walking.'

But my natural affinity to being polite over rude won out.

"I count my steps. I always step the exact same length when I walk, and I count how many steps it takes me to get from one place to another. I memorize the amount of steps to a door, or up the stairs, or anything else. But occasionally, especially when my mind is preoccupied..."

"You forget to count, aru." He finished, thinking back to my near tumble down the stairs.

"Hai."

I could yet again tell Yao had nodded before remembering I couldn't see him and saying.

"I get it."

Far to soon the blurs of blue of gray outside the windows morphed to bamboo forests and oriental homes, the same place I'd grown up.

Did I see any of this? Clearly not, this is merely the image that was produced in my mind as we slowed to a halt. I could remember riding in nation speed before.

I stepped out of the car and inwardly realized I'd not been to this house in years. Though I recalled the walkway to the door quite clearly in my mind, I didn't have the foggiest idea of how many paces it would take for me to make it there.

My cheeks burned, and a nearly began to chew my lip again.

Never the one to ask for help, especially from Yao, who I knew would be more then willing to assist me, I started up the path towards the door.

I knew that the path was winding, and if memory served there was a slight bend coming up.

The bend came sooner then I anticipated and my foot caught on the lip.

"Kiku!"

I stumbled forward, catching myself with the other foot, hunched over slightly with my hands thrown out in front of me.

"I...I have not been here in a very long time." I said simply.

China knew this was as close as I would ever come to asking for help.

 _I hate how he can always tell whenever I'm having a challenging time._

I though to myself as I heard Yao come stepping forward from around the car.

"Here, I can guide you." He offered.

I winced at the notation, guided like nothing but a blind man?

 _I am a blind man._

Sometimes my thoughts betray me.

Letting out a disgruntled sigh I extended my hand out in his general direction, reaching for his arm so as to know where I was heading.

For a moment my hand hung in space, then Yao offered his arm, I held it and took my usual short, measured steps, counting my way. I'd memorize it, for if I were to come here again, I did not want to have to be helped.

"Here are the steps, aru." The older warned, I lifted my foot and planted it on the first step, making it onto the deck several steps later.

"Mei Mei! Li Xiang! Yong Soo! Hyung Soo!" Yao called loudly from my side.

There was a scramble of motion from within the house.

"Why are they all here?" I whispered as I quickly released his arm, not wanting my siblings to see me clinging to our older brother.

"We decided we all wanted to get together after the last world meeting, they're all staying for about a week. I tried to invite you, but, ahem."

He lowered his voice.

"When I went back too, you literally ran right through me, aru."

"Oh." I said shortly.

The door opened and I waited for the person to speak.

"Kiku!"

Voices have always been a dead giveaway to me, even before I lost my vision.

"Greetings, Yong Soo." I said.

"So good to see you, da-ze!"

I yelped as I was enveloped in a hug.

"Please...get off of me..." I said, pushing half heartedly at him to let go.

He was then violently ripped off and thrown to the ground.

I stared in the general direction he fell in before I heard another voice.

"Idiot."

"Greetings, Hyung Soo." I said, nodding to him, navigating by sound as always.

"No way, it's Kiku!" The only female in the house, my sisters voice was a relief from overly excited or overly enraged screaming. Which had taken over towards the twins end of the spectrum.

"Greetings, Mei Mei."

I grudgingly excepted her hug, returning it briefly before she released me.

"Sup, Kiku?" I got a brief pat on the shoulder from another source.

"Greetings, Li Xiang." I said.

"Well, what are we all standing out here for? Let's go instead and party, da-ze!" I was able to heard Yong Soo race into the house.

"I'll stop him from breaking anything."

Clomping combat boots notified me Hyung Soo had moved after his twin. Li Xiang's nearly silent footsteps followed, I was glad I could still hear him. Mei Mei skipped after them, her ruffled dress fluttering, overjoyed that even me, the families often absent member, was present.

I swallowed and stepped carefully over the doorframe's subtle lip.

I found myself with my eyes open wide, though I knew it would do me no good.

Letting out a barely audible sigh, I felt China take my arm again, and, albeit unhappily, I let myself get led into the kitchen.

Chaos was welcome in this household, I had always associated this place to tranquility, what with the relative peace of my childhood. I had forgotten the madness that was often present during mealtimes.

"EVERYONE SHUT UP, ARU!"

And I had also forgotten how angry it made Yao.

"Sorry." Four voices droned in unison, I couldn't see what anyone was doing, but I did hear Taiwan, I'm guessing, setting down a frying pan, and the snapping of Hong Kong's cell phone camera halted.

The twins must have been in an all out fist fight, because I heard them rolling off of each other.

"Why are you holding onto Kiku? Making sure he won't, like, make a run for it?" Li Xiang asked, sniggering.

Yao quickly released my arm, I almost snatched for him, I had absolutely no clue what part of the room I was in.

"Everyone in the living room, aru." Yao ordered.

"Why?" Four voices in unison yet again.

"NOW!"

Five people in the room jumped, me included. I'm certain that if I could have, I would have turned and headed for the living room as well.

Four sets of feet came trooping past us into the living room.

I sighed.

"You still scare us." I whispered.

"You too, aru?"

"I don't think you understand the level of terror having you standing over me with a bamboo rod brought on. Especially when there was some form of shattered pottery on the floor behind me."

China's laughter floated through the air, it made me smile slightly.

"Guess I was doing my job, aru." He chuckled, making for the living room, only to, I suspect, wince when I remained rooted in place.

"Sorry." I felt it was necessary for me to apologize as he returned and I grasped his arm again.

"No problem, after so long coping alone, I'm here to help you, aru." He replied.

We went into the living room, and I heard texting.

"Li Xiang, please put the phone away." I said.

"Sheesh."

The sound halted, and me and China sat down.

"Seriously, why was Aniki holding your arm? Are you hurt, da-ze!?"

I screwed up my face at the yelling.

An instant later I heard a whack, and a yelp.

"Shut up, idiot. He's obviously going to tell us." Hyung Soo growled.

The room fell silent, all eyes were on me.

I felt more vulnerable then ever, I could imagine their innocently curious expressions in my mind, yet no matter how much my eyes clawed at the space, my world was still built of darkness.

"I...you recall the events that transpired on the 6th and 9th of August 1945?"

I felt as though the temperature of the entire room dropped a few degrees.

I waited.

"Nods all around, no one could forget." Yao stated subtly.

"Well...I have been..."

"Are they hurting you again?" Mei Mei asked, her voice fluttering softly with dismay.

"It's been so long, are you still hurting, da-ze?"

"Yeah, are you, like, having nightmares or crap like that?"

I swallowed.

"I'm blind."

Absolute silence. The darkness I stared into was as impregnable as ever.

"Your joking." Li Xiang spoke, his voice incredulous.

"Am I the kind of person who would joke about being blind for seventy years?" I snapped.

Yao spoke, "I only found out a few hours ago. I insisted he tell the rest of you. But he wants this to be a secret, no one else can know, this stays in the family, aru."

I felt a hand on mine and went rigid, soft palms, it was my sister.

"Mei Mei, I don't need comfort or pity." I said.

Her hand did not withdraw.

"How did you know it was me?" She asked.

"Your hands are soft." I replied.

"This is NOT just some elaborate joke?"

"LI XIANG!"

"Ok, ok, just making sure."

Then he realized something.

"How did you know I was on my phone when you walked in?" He asked.

I directed my gaze somewhere towards him, trying to lock eyes with him.

"Kiku? Why are you glaring at me?" Hyung Soo. Oops.

"Sorry, I was aiming for Li Xiang."

"A little to the left." Hyung Soo suggested.

I adjusted accordingly before I spoke again.

"I could hear you texting. Your phone makes noise when your texting."

I stated, as if the answer to such a question should be obvious.

"Thats insane, mate, you could never have heard it." Li Xiang mumbled.

"I've been using my hearing to make up for my lack of sight for a while now, I've become rather good at hearing things and sorting out what they are."

After a period of silence just long enough to be deemed awkward, I heard a breath being taken.

"What now?" Hyung Soo asked.

I crossed my arms.

"I've been fine alone for years, for decades, I don't ask anything from you. Yao said I should tell you, so I did."

I came to a stand, intent on leaving the household.

I'm sure if I tried to I would have wound up on my backside a few times, but that was beside the point.

"Wait! We don't mean it like that! We just, well I certainly just want to be sure your ok." Mei Mei said.

"We're you brothers, or sister, and we're here to help you out! It's that thing families do, y'know, trust each other?" Yong Soo was obviously hinting at my trusting ability, or lack thereof.

"Whatever, if you need some help without having the additional screaming, texting, 'aii-yah'-ing, or girly sappiness, you can always call me."

 _Hyung Soo, always the tough one._

"Uh...ditto." Li Xiang said, I could hear him shrug.

I blinked into the darkness, I never thought knowing I had someone to ask for help would feel, in any shape or form, good.

But it did.

I heard some rustling that was attempted to sound inconspicuous.

"Well, I guess my fireworks display will be a bit less wowing."

Li Xiang whispered.

"Maybe I should turn off the T.V?" Yong Soo whispered back.

"You guys must be stupid, that'll make him feel bad. If you know our big brother, you know he takes guilt very seriously." Hyung Soo grumbled.

"Well we could always just play cards...oh, wait..." Mei Mei trailed off.

I found myself restraining laughter, covering my mouth to hide the way it was crumpling.

"Really? What's so funny that it makes _you_ laugh?" Li Xiang asked critically.

"You are all complete idiots. I'm blind, not deaf. I can hear every word your saying. The T.V is fine, and I'm perfectly fine with just listening to the fireworks, if it's all the same to you."

Dead silence. Again.

"Well, dinner, da-ze?"

"Yeah, that sounds good!"

I stood up as they all moved to their feet, and instantly I heard the sound of rustling sleeves, of five different hands extended to help me.

Instead of pushing them away and feeling so useless as I had before, I smiled softly and took one of them, this happened to be Yong Soo. I could see his bright grin in my mind as he threw the arm I wasn't holding in the air, I could hear his impressive sleeves flapping like a bird's wing.

"Party time, da-ze!"

He cried out as he edged around the couch, pulling me along with him, he was hopping along excitedly while I was carefully measuring my paces.

"Slow down! He can't keep up!" Li Xiang laughed.

"I am fine!" I rebutted, speeding up as we made for the deck, apparently dinner had been planned for outside. Everyone followed us, I heard the clinks of dishes being set down as we all gathered around the table together.

My family would be there for me, I could always count on them, and that let a ray of beautiful light into my world built of darkness.

* * *

 ** _Thats it, I tried to give it a sort of bittersweet ending. I may or may not make this into a collection of snap shots of life with a blinded Kiku, nothing to heavy though. I also might do one where he gets his sight back somehow. Dunno. Well, please favorite, please follow, please review! Let me know if you want me to do more East Asia family stuff. Also, IMPORTANT, please check out a community I started called "East Asia" where me and a few fanfiction friends and trying to collect all East Asia fanfics together! Mine are also in there, so go take a look! Thanks again for reading!_**


	2. America's horror

**_So I decided to do another short one shot thing with this fic. It's based in the same world as the first one shot, where Japan lost his eyesight in the second world war. It is also based after the first one shot. Also this is probably historically inaccurate and is strongly based on my own head cannons. Please enjoy!_**

* * *

I made my way up the front walk, counting my paces as usual.

America had invited me over to watch movies, though I know it's just because he's to scared to watch them alone. The only thing about these movies that scares me is when the volume suddenly increases without warning, the rest of it is, honestly, rather predictable.

Also I can't see all the blood and gore surely happening across the screen, so that's a plus.

Since I can't see the screen, all I do is comment on something being horrifying in a deadpanned voice, which normally makes him angry. The is, before he starts crying into his pillow again.

Rolling my unseeing eyes as I mounted the steps, I knocked on the door.

It unlocked and opened.  
"Sup dude! Thanks for coming!"

"Not at all, America-san, thank you for inviting me." I replied as he walked inside. I followed along, paying careful attention to where I saw stepping.

I slid my feet slightly across the hardwood, and it paid off, seeing as I knocked several balls and papers I could have slipped on out of my path.

"So, bro, I was thinking, you've been chilling with China a lot lately."  
I shrugged, looking in America's direction.

"Well, they are my siblings and I had not spent time with them for quite a while."

Ever since Yao and the others had found out about my secret, that I had been blind for seventy years, I had been spending a lot more time with them, we often wore casual clothing and went out to new places, something I'd not had the luxury of doing without a full military guard for sometime. Even if it did mean one of my younger siblings, or my older brother, had to keep a nearly constant hold on my arm to avoid me wandering into a brick wall, it was still very nice, a sort of family outing.

"Oh, yeah, sorry, that didn't even cross my mind. That's cool, dude, it's good for you to be hanging out with your kin more often."

"I suppose. Though I don't think you've ever had the pleasure of enjoying a meal with six asians all sitting around a table. It gets very...hectic, very quickly. And several firecrackers go off. It is not rare for the twins to get into a fight. Mei Mei will try to break them up, and only ends up starting to fight with them both. I normally just sit and try to talk everyone into calming down. It normally takes China pulling his bamboo rod out for everyone to calm down. For no reason whatsoever he'll end up hitting all of us. He insisted when we were younger that if one of us screwed up, all of us got punished. It's what made us get into trouble together, because no matter what, we'd all suffer for it. Anyway, we've already been banned from several restaurants."

America laughed loudly, and my small smile made it's appearance.

"Hey, what did old China do to you when you screwed up as a kid? Iggy used to lock me and Canada in our room and then France would cook the most delicious thing possible, and the two of them would eat while all we could do was sit there and listen to our stomachs rumble. Though of course he'd always give in to our begging and crying and let us out after like fifteen minutes."  
"China was much...stricter." I couldn't help but be a tad jealous of America's laid back caretakers in comparison to my older brother.

"If any of us did something he specifically told us not to do, he'd take a bamboo rod to our heads. And it was never lightly, never just a tap. If we were home past dark he'd send us to bed with no dinner, no sneaking out for snacks in the night either, and believe me, he never gave in to any sort of begging. Then the next morning we'd have to wait for everyone else to come to the breakfast table before we could eat. That's another thing he insisted upon. We ate all together or we didn't eat at all, that's half the reason we all showed up for dinner on time, because we knew that we'd hear it from the other younger nations later. I recall, once, I was twelve or so, and I was over two hours late for dinner. When I finally arrived, I tried to go inside and the door was locked."

I couldn't help but let out a humored huff.

"I slept on the back porch."

"Man! I'm never complaining about England and France's parenting ever again, China was terrifying!"  
I laughed softly.

"Perhaps, but I still remember his soft side. He didn't have to deal with all of us. It wasn't like you, America-san. Discovered in a new world. Precious, so many nations fought over you, Canada-san, and Mexico-san. Not to mention the countless lands of South America. My siblings and I weren't discovered. We were abandoned, no other nations wanted us the way we were. We were alone and we didn't even know we had a family. China took us. Took us when no one else would. He made us a family. Turns out it was meant to be. For when the technology came about, Mei Mei convinced us to get out blood tested. We're all full blooded siblings. Incredible, hmm?"

I sensed America had nodded, I could envision a pleased smile on his face.

"So, bro, what will it be tonight?"

"I'm guessing horror?" I already knew this, America never called me over without specifying a reason for anything other then movies he was to scared to watch by himself.

"Yeah...sorry dude, I guess we always watch horror, huh?"

"Nearly always, America-san. Excluding that time we watched that movie with the ice queen and the singing snowman."  
"Haha, yeah, I remember that, it was fun!"

I smiled softly before coming to a stand and moving to get a drink from the refrigerator I knew was only a few steps behind the sofa.

I yelped when something blocked me by the knees and I tripped, tumbling right over what I assumed was America's new side table and onto the floor, smacking my forehead on the hardwood.

I groaned as America cried out.  
"Whoa, dude, are you ok!?"

I nodded slowly as I rolled over, rubbing my forehead.

"I am...unharmed." I said, still trying to let the pain from the impact in my forehead fade away.

America grabbed my hand and helped me up, and I stood for a moment rubbing my forehead until the sharp pain passed to a dull ache.  
"Sorry I didn't tell you about my new end table, but, uh, it's kinda bright glossy mahogany. How did you not see it?"

I sighed and resumed rubbing my head.

"I may need some ice." I grumbled.  
"Oh! Sure thing! I've got an ice pack downstairs, be right back!"

He took off down the stairs, and without missing a beat I pulled out my cell phone, running my fingers over the keypad and hitting the speed dial.  
 _He was fifth down, right?_

I called who I hoped was the right person and put the phone to my ear.

I could hear America rooting around for the ice pack, I was counting on his untidiness to give me time.  
"Sup?"

"Li Xiang, is that you?"

"Kiku? You ok? Did you get hurt?" Instantly he assumed the worse, naturally, I rarely ever called him, much less called any of my siblings.

"No, I'm ok, but I just tripped over an obviously visible end table at America's house."

A second passed.  
"Oh." He said unclearly.  
"What do I do?"

"Your asking me for advice?" He asked incredulously.

"Your the only one I could count on to answer his cell phone." I replied, not about to give him the satisfaction that I was trusting his words.

I heard an audible sigh from the other side of the phone.  
"Well?" I urged.  
"I say you do what you feel you should do. Do you trust America?"  
"Well..."  
"Let me rephrase that. Do you trust Alfred F. Jones?"

"Hai. I do. He's always been a great friend to me." I said, feeling confident.  
"Then tell him. Just be ready for him to start beating himself up with guilt."

I sighed and nodded, though neither my youngest brother nor I could see the motion.  
"I think I will."  
"Have fun, call me when you can, I wanna hear how this goes down."

The boy couldn't hide the hint of curiosity in his voice.

I shook my head this time.  
"Hai, I will, thank you."

"Anytime bro, later."

"Goodbye."

I hung up and not even a second later America returned with the ice pack, I slipped my phone into my pocket and took the pack, which he'd pressed into my palm.  
"Thank you." I said, pressing the coolness to my head, it felt very good against my aching blow from the floors.

"No prob." America replied as the two of us took to the couch again.

"America-san. I do believe I forgot to tell you something important, it has just come to me you may like to know." I said, this was going to, excuse the pun, blindside him.

Sometimes I worry about myself.

"America-san, do you remember the bombs you dropped on me?"  
I knew the instant the words left my mouth that any lightness in the mood had died.

"Y-Yeah. Are you hurting?" He asked.  
"You could say that." I said cryptically.

Utter silence.

"America-san. You know how your glasses represent Texas? And the curl in your hair Nantucket?"

"Yeah." He was confused, he didn't know where I was going with this.  
"Well, Hiroshima and Nagasaki were represented on me."  
"Oh." A short noncommittal grunt.

"As what?" He finally asked.

"My eyes." I said this with a certain boldness behind my words. I actually _wanted_ to hear an apology. I actually _wanted_ to be begged for my forgiveness.

When had I begun to feel like that? I do not recall such a feeling of resentment ever coming from my heart with such strength before. Of course, when it had first happened, I'd been shattered, I'd spent months in what has been dubbed my 'isolation mode'. But the feeling I'd felt then had been an ache, not this stabbing urge.

"Your eyes?" His voice was oddly quiet for the usually loud american I knew.  
"Yes. I've been completely blind for seventy years now. That's why I didn't see the end table, because I can't see anything."  
I'd just dropped a bomb of my own. Now, despite my lack of vision, I was certain that America was staring into my eyes.

I heard him move, I wasn't sure just what he was doing though.  
"How many fingers am I holding up?"

I rolled my unseeing eyes.  
"America-san, the world is completely dark to me. I cannot see anything. The last thing I ever saw was a mushroom cloud blooming into the sky before I collapsed. When I woke up in the hospital, my eyes were badly damaged, and I know I'll never see again."  
More silence, why was I trying to make him feel so bad?

"Dude...are you kidding? When we were watching the movies, or at the meetings when I ask you about my charts? Your notes?"

I shook my head.  
"The notes were a cover up, I thought this would be obvious." I said flatly.  
Letting out a heavy sigh, I reached for my phone.  
"I think I'll just call for a pick up, I apologize for the coldness of my news. I figured it was about time you knew the reason I don't find your horror movies so horrifying is because I've never properly watched one. Never will."  
I slid my fingers across my phone and made my way down the speed dial.

 _Chances are he'll pick up again so soon after my first call._

I thought as I walked for the door, still carefully counting my paces. I ignored the flustered apologizing and worrisome cries from behind me, America was following me down the stairs.

"Dude! I-I..I had no idea that it would have hurt you so badly! It wasn't my idea, I swear, I just wanted to war to end! It was time for it to end!"

"I wholeheartedly agreed, I had lost the will to fight in the war, and had been begging for surrender months before the bombs dropped. I still remember the way I pleaded with my leaders. They refused." My voice had never been very expressive of any emotion, but even I was shocked with how flat and unfeeling it sounded.

"Is there anything I can do!? I mean, my place has some of the best doctors in the world, I've never dream of charging you, I can bring them all in..."

"I am not human, America-san. Human medicines will not work on me. My vision will return when the bombings are forgotten, when the pain from them fades. That will never happen, I never expect nor ask of my people to forget and stop caring about one of our largest tragedies." I said.  
"W-Well...I don't know what else to say! I'm sorry! I never wanted to blind you, you have to know that! If I had known that would have happened..."

"You would have done the exact same thing. You would have felt worse about doing it then you already did, but you would have done it in the end."

I was still holding my phone in a death grip.

Before I put in the call I stopped on what I certainly hope was the bottom step and turned back up, stopping America in his tracks.  
"I do not feel any ill will towards you, America-san. I know you did not want to go that far as a person. I view this burden as punishment for those sins I committed. I will bear this punishment as long as I will live, and I will continue to live. I will not allow such a petty thing as lack of sight to interfere with my continuing to serve my land as best I can and enjoy the world I've been gifted to live in eternally."

I wasn't sure what I was trying to do with those words, but I suppose it must have been something like trying to calm America down. My version of saying 'it wasn't anyones fault'. I finished my walk down the stairs and made my way outside, where I stood on the front porch and made my call.

"Any tears yet?"

I groaned at the monotone voice.

"I'm not in the mood. Can you pick me up?"

"Be right there."

The line went dead and I waited.

America was standing in the doorway, absolutely silent.

"You can say something if you want to, but if you apologize again I will punch you. I can still find exactly where you are, I don't need sight to fight."

I heard him walk up to me, then I wasn't sure exactly what he was doing.

"I really...I can't...I just...I'm so sorry."

I brought my fist around, took two steps, and uppercutted him in the gut, hard. I heard him let out a hack and I'm pretty sure I may have forced some spittle out of him.

"...I deserved that." He choked out, I imagined him wiping his chin.

"I warned you."

Was my response.

After the longest seven minutes I've ever experience, I heard the wheels of a car pulling up.

To my surprise, it wasn't Li Xiang's voice that called to me.  
"Kiku!"

It was Yao.

"Goodbye, America-san."

I stepped from the deck and walked to the car, Yao took my arm for but a moment to help me find the door, after this I easily settled in and we were off.

Not the first time since 1945, I wished I could look back, because I desperately wanted to see if Alfred was upset, or angry.

Or if he looked to be anything worse.

"How did he look?" I asked.

"America, aru? He was crying."

"Nani? Really?" I asked, naturally I wouldn't have been able to tell that unless I'd touched his face.

"Yeah. He was pretty quiet. He must have taken it really hard, aru."  
A pause.

"So what happened?"  
"I called Li Xiang because I knew I could count on him to answer his phone. He answered and I asked him what I should do. Long story short I told America about my disability, I told him where it came from, and all I heard from him were apologies. An offer to bring together all the eye doctors in his power, and more apologies."

"I see, aru. Quite a tender moment, I assume?"  
I shrugged, leaning back into my seat, feeling my seatbelt give slightly.

"Perhaps. Until I punched him in the stomach. I must still have some force to my fist, he coughed up...something. I think it was spit."

"Oh." I may not have been able to see it, but I get the feeling that my older brother had rolled his eyes.

"I don't really want to know why or how you wound up punching him, but I'm guessing your going to keep your distance from him for a while, aru?"

I nodded, "This whole keeping a secret thing it wearing on me."

Yao yawned, I could heard him.

"So, do you want me to drop you off at home, or do you want to come to the house? We could always have an impromptu party."

"Please just drop me at home."

"Impromptu party it is, aru!"

I furrowed my brow as I heard him waving one hand in the air, his sleeves flapping. It was rather difficult to miss hearing sleeves of that magnitude moving around.

"I did not say..."

"Then you should never have gotten in the car with me in the first place, aru."

I shrunk farther down into my seat.

"I suppose your right." I mumbled.

"I know. I'm always right."

I switched my sightless gaze to out the window, a blank look on my face.

Perhaps I would talk to America about this another time? I was too tired for it at the moment, not the mention that my head was throbbing.

"Your getting a goose egg on your head, aru."

"I'm aware..."

* * *

 ** _Yeah, not sure where that went. I may always do another one, like I said, these are all loosely connected one shots with the idea of Japan being blind. The only one they are all really connected to is the first one. So, please favorite, please follow, please review!_**


	3. Adventures in shopping

**_I figured I may as well do something like this with the entire family together, also I'm switching to third person with this one, and may or may not do this with other shots I plan. Finally, this is not angst-y, this is humorous, I thought it wold be fun to have a little bit of chaos going on with poor blind Kiku at the center. Please enjoy!_**

* * *

A group of six walked down the pavement sidewalk.

"Where too now?" China asked as they walked.

They had decided that it would be a nice day for a family outing, and at the moment, with Kiku currently walking holding Mei Mei's hand, they were all rather content with wandering around.

"I wanna go to the mall!" Mei Mei voted.

"I'll come if we can go to the music store!" Yong Soo cried.

"Can we hit the food court? I'm starving and it's nearly time for lunch..." Hyung Soo grumbled, rubbing his stomach.

"I do not mind that." Kiku said.

The group was dressed in casual clothes, as apposed to the usual traditional or military garb that they normally wore. Yong Soo and Hyung Soo had unintentionally worn nearly the exactly same thing. Hyung Soo wore a green cargo jacket with a red tee shirt and dark jeans, with combat boots.

Yong Soo wore the exact same thing, the only difference was that his tee shirt was purple and he was wearing sneakers. Thankfully Hyung Soo's braid was hanging over his shoulder, giving a tell tale way to tell the twins apart. Hyung Soo had nearly beaten his twin up when he found out they were matching, if it was anything he hated, it was being mistaken for his twin brother.

Mei Mei wore a colorful pink and cream dress that reached down to about her knees, with long sleeves, and she wore leggings underneath it with slippers. Kiku was wearing fairly simple clothes, a black long sleeve shirt with a gray hoodie and jeans. Yao wore a red tee shirt with several white arrows across it in different directions, and a black jacket with jeans. Li Xiang was known for his different taste in fashion, not to help that he was a good four or more inches taller then everyone else in the group. He wore a black shirt with white skulls and crossbones all across it, dark jeans, ankle boots, and a bulky many pocketed black jacket. He also had a red kerchief tied around his neck.

Yao sighed.

"Are you hiding any fireworks in that jacket?"

"Of course not..." Total monotone from Hong Kong.

"I don't believe you, aru."

"Fine, don't."

Mei Mei giggled at them as they walked into the mall.

"Looks like everyone else and their mothers decided today was a good day to go out, huh?" Hyung Soo asked bitterly, sure enough the mall was packed.

"And I was expecting you to say everyone else and their five siblings, because that's more what it looks like!" Yong Soo laughed.

"Perhaps we should go somewhere a bit quieter?"

Kiku, who was completely blind, edged a minuscule closer to his sister, who's hand he was holding. She was serving as his guide for the day.

She smiled up at him.

"Don't worry about it, Kiku, you need to be around more people! Being blind doesn't mean you can't be social! If it weren't for us, you'd be sitting in you house doing nothing!"

"Lucky me." Kiku said flatly.

Yong Soo laughed obnoxiously.

"No need to worry! I'll make sure you don't fall into the fountain!"

"Somehow I feel like letting you help me would only cause me to _wind up_ falling into the fountain." Kiku murmured.

"That's exactly why you shouldn't let him guide you, and that's why I'm doing it, let's go!"

Mei Mei took off, Kiku allowed himself to be pulled along, and the other four were close behind.

But, unfortunately, within fifteen minutes, that was no longer the case.

"Erm...I do believe that the others are gone." Kiku stated, he could no longer hear the clomps from the boots the majority of his brothers were wearing.

"Really?"

Mei Mei halted and turned around.

She stared for a moment.

"Well, crap."

"Agreed."

"I guess we have to find them, huh?"

Kiku shrugged, "Or we could let them enjoy shooting off fireworks indoors and getting into trouble by themselves."

"I like your plan better." Mei Mei hummed.

"Anywhere you want to go?"

Kiku hesitated.

"Is there a bookstore in sight? They sell audibles there for rather good prices if on sale."

"I don't see one, but I'll keep an eye out!"

"Thank you."

With this, brother and sister continued on through the mall.

After an hour spent in pleasurable shopping and chatting, Kiku suggested the go get something to eat.

Mei Mei clapped her hands, Kiku chuckled at her excitement.

"They have one of those american chains that isn't actually horrible!" She exclaimed

"The chicken one?" Kiku asked, sounding amused.

"Yes the chicken one!" Mei Mei cried out, doing a twirl before grabbing her brothers hand again and starting for the escalator.

"We're gonna have to take the escalator." Mei Mei warned as the neared the step.

"That's ok." Kiku replied.

"Just tell me when to step."

"Alright, now." Mei Mei pulled her unseeing brother onto the escalator and they began their ride up, they reached the top and Mei Mei warned Kiku to step when they arrived.

He still stumbled slightly, but to her surprised he merely let out a humored hum.

"I haven't ridden on one of those things since they were invented." He said with good humor in his voice.

"You know, I still can't grasp how you're so easy to accept what happened. I mean, you still go hang out with Am...I mean Alfred all the time too!"

Kiku shrugged, he could feel Mei Mei's eyes searching his face.

"There is no point in being depressed about it. Will being upset and torn apart bring my sight back? No, it will not, therefore I will not allow it to hinder me."

Mei Mei smiled.

"You know, I have to admit, ever since finding out, and realizing how well you hid it, I've been kinda inspired by you. Ever since realizing everything you bear, well, I've got nothing to complain about!"

She smiled, and Kiku smiled in his usual barely noticeable way as well, though she knew he couldn't tell she was doing the same.

That made the smile fade just a little bit.

As they made their way through the line, Mei Mei never released Kiku's hand, and realized that everyone was giving them amused looks.

They ordered their food and went to find a table while it was prepared.

She found a corner booth, and Kiku offered to sit and hold it for them while Mei Mei went back for the food.

Mei Mei agreed to that, and left Kiku at the booth.

When she returned for the food, she was surprised when one of the girls at the cash registers, who looked to be about her age, at least physically, spoke.

"He's cute."

Mei Mei blinked.

"What?"

"Your boyfriend."

"Who?"

"The hot guy you were holding hands with in line."

Mei Mei put two and two together and yelped.

"He is not!"

The girl giggled, a mischievous smile coming onto her face.

"Oh, yes he is, I don't blame you for holding his hand all the time, one second you let your guard down and..."

"No!" Mei Mei protested, her cheeks reddening "He is not my boyfriend!"

"How come you were holding hands the entire time?"

Mei Mei shot a glance over her shoulder at Kiku, who was sitting at the booth, sifting through a bag of things he'd purchased so far by touch, though it wasn't much, as he waited.

"He's my BROTHER. My older brother. We are not boyfriend and girlfriend. The rest of our siblings are around here somewhere, probably wrecking something."

She grumbled.

The girl looked confused.

"Then why on earth we're y'all holding hands?" She demanded.

Mei Mei rolled her eyes.

"Is it that uncommon?"

"For a teenage brother and sister to hold each others hands? Yes!" The girl exclaimed.

"My brother and I were practically at each others throats whenever we had to go out together." She continued.

Mei Mei raised her eyebrow, she and Kiku had never really been in what you could call a 'fight' for a long as she could remember.

She decided truth was best at this point.

"He's blind." Mei Mei deadpanned to the girl, who's eyes instantly lost their curious shine.

Mei Mei pressed on. "His eyes absorb light instead of refracting it. He had an accident that cost him his sight a few years ago. He can't see, but he's to proud to use a cane. I help him whenever we go someplace he doesn't know well. If I don't one of our other brothers does. He prefers me though because I'm least likely to take off running or get into a fight with someone."

Mei Mei shook her head at the surprised silence and picked up the food.

"Thanks." She said as she turned and left.

"Uh, my pleasure, sorry about that."

"No big deal." Mei Mei replied with an even tone.

The brown haired girl returned to the table with her brother, getting out the food.

"She thought we were dating?" Kiku asked without missing a beat.

Mei Mei nodded, then remembered her brother couldn't see the move.

"You can hear that well? Yeah, she did, silly huh?"

"Hai, but I suppose it's an easy enough assumption to make. I may be a lot older then you, but I don't look more then a year or so your senior."

"Yeah, I guess. I wasn't rude about it or anything."

"Good."

"And you are turing into an old man, after all."

"So says you, Oba-san."

"Shut up!"

Kiku gave another soft humored hum, about as close has he'd come to laughing aloud.

They ate, Mei Mei talking about one thing or another and her brother listening.

"You know, you're pretty good to talk too."

"I suppose being a good listener is trait I should probably hang on to, I don't think being deaf and blind would improve my situation, even with my 'can do' attitude, as Alfred would put it."

Mei Mei giggled.

"That's true."

Kiku smiled fondly.

"I'm very happy I was able to rejoin our family." He admitted.

Mei Mei was taken aback by the sudden confession, but a radiant look lit her face and caused her eyes to sparkle.

"I'm so happy you're here, Kiku. Don't tell the others..."

Mei Mei leaned forward and cupped her hand around her mouth, as if fearful one of her other brothers my suddenly pop up.

"...but you were always my favorite brother."

Kiku laughed, and Mei Mei looked so pleased by that simple sound that it radiated from her, for it was a sound rarely heard.

"I'll remember that." Kiku said appreciatively.

All was calm for the rest of lunch, after they ate they deposited their trays and walked off.

Mei Mei sighed.

"As wonderful as this whole outing has been we should probably find the others."

"I agree." Kiku said, though he had to admit, he was slightly disappointed that there time together was ending so soon.

"Perhaps we can come back again sometime." He said softly.

Mei Mei performed a bounce, which Kiku was able to feel what with the hand that held his rising and falling.

"Really? That'd be fun!"

Kiku nodded.

As the two of them continued on, Kiku heard a rumbling of footsteps coming up behind them.

"Erm...what is that?" He asked, turning his sightless gaze behind them.

"Oh my god..." Mei Mei said lowly.

"What?" Kiku asked, still not able to identify anything more then a large amount of stomping feet coming closer.

"It looks like Yong Soo got a lot of people angry at him. Hyung Soo is with him. I think Li Xiang set off some fireworks. Gege's getting chased as well."

"Oh..." Kiku mumbled.

"Shouldn't we get out of the way?"

"We probably...EEK!"

"Mei Mei!"

Kiku cried out as Mei Mei's hand was ripped from his and he was instantly surrounded by running bodies on all sides, shoving and bumping into him.

Then they were all gone, and Kiku was alone without a clue of where he was, or where to go.

 _Oh Kami..._

* * *

Mei Mei had been separated from her brother by the crowd. Now she was running along with the rest of the people, trying to avoid getting trampled.

She was a good deal faster then most of the humans, and easily outstripped them and came up beside her brothers.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!?" She screeched at Yong Soo.

"For once in my entire thousands of years of life I did nothing wrong, da-ze!"

Yong Soo exclaimed in terror.

"Gege freaked out over some guy who was insulting Chinese food, and tried to beat him up. Then mall security tried to break it up and Li Xiang's firecrackers started going off and they set a display on fire downstairs, and by then we'd started running, da-ze! Now people are just chasing us because fireworks are still flying out of Li Xiang's pocket!"

"Oh great..." Mei Mei groaned.

"Quick, in here!"

They'd just rounded a corner, and Mei Mei tackled Yong Soo into the first store to the right, they were followed by the other nations.

Crouching in the doorway, the angry mob went tearing past, and the five nations let out a collective sigh of relief.

Five of them.

All five of them.

Five.

"Kiku!" Mei Mei exclaimed.

"Where is he?" Yao instantly demanded.

"We got separated when that huge mob came running by!"

"Well lets, like, look for him!" Li Xiang exclaimed.

"I am not done, you set off fireworks in a mall, aru!" Yao exclaimed.

"And you got into a fist fight with some guy over fast food Chinese! Your point?"

"Whatever, aru! Just go look for your brother!"

"Already gone."

The twins had already taken off together looking for Kiku, and now Yong Soo was trying to think of where to look.

"If you were Kiku, where would you go if you were separated from everyone else?" Yong Soo posed this question to his twin.

Hyung Soo shoved his hands in his pocket.

"I'd head to a book store. Issue is I'm not blind. Think about this from Kiku's perspective, he can't see and now he's stranded in a place he doesn't know. What would you do?"

Yong Soo crossed his arms.

"I'd hole up in one spot to make myself easier to find."

Hyung Soo blinked.

"That's actually exactly what I think he'd do."

"Great! So let's keep looking, da-ze!"

Unfortunately, after twenty minutes, they still hadn't found Kiku, and Yao was about ready to have a heart attack.

"What if something happened to him, aru!? What if someone pretended they were one of us and got Kiku to come with them!? What if..."

"Gege, Kiku's smart enough not to do something that stupid. You're just freaking yourself out even more. Besides, none of the humans here could give Kiku anything more then a bruise, remember?"

Yao nodded.

"You're right...sorry, aru."

Mei Mei then snapped her fingers.

"I know!"

And she took off, Yao screamed at her to wait up as he chased after her.

* * *

Upstairs, on the same floor as the food court, Kiku had settled himself down on a bench next to some store he couldn't identify. He figured that if he stayed in one spot, at least one of his five siblings would find him eventually.

Kiku raised his head up when the speakers crackled.

"Attention shoppers, there is a teenage boy by the name of Kiku Honda lost in the mall. Kiku has short black hair, dull brown eyes, and is wearing a gray hoodie with jeans. He is completely blind and is unable to find his way around on his own. If you see Kiku, please assist him in making it down to the help desk, where his family is waiting."

Kiku inwardly banged his head on a wall.

 _I am not a little child! I do not need to be reported lost in a shopping mall!_

He thought inside his head in frustration.

Still, he raised his head and attempted to listen for any approaching footsteps that would warn him of someone that might ask if he needed help.

After nearly ten minutes of solid listening and not hearing a single soul, Kiku realized he was going to have to get somewhere a bit more crowded if he was going to make it back to his family any time soon.

He stood up and reached to the side, having to walk several paces before his hand brushed against a railing.

Recalling the layout of the mall in his mind, he realized this must have been the railing that was opposite to the shopfronts on the second level.

 _Okay, so I'm on the second level._

That was helpful, but not getting him much closer to figuring out where to go.

Finally, he decided to just go straight, and follow the railing, at least that way he'd be moving towards someone.

Or away from _everyone_ , but it would have to work out eventually, how large could a mall be?

Kiku made his way along at a careful, slow pace, forever keeping his hand on the railing, so focused he was on making sure not to trip over the occasional bench or potted plant, that he didn't hear the footsteps approaching until it was too late.

Kiku let out a startled gasp when he bumped into someone and jumped backwards.

"S-sorry!" He exclaimed quickly, bowing out of habit.

"No worries! I'm fine!"

Kiku quickly processed the voice as he straightened up, from the sound, he could tell it was a woman.

A few moments passed, and the woman spoke.

"Are you that boy they mentioned over the speakers a little while ago?"

Kiku swallowed his shame and nodded.

"Yes, I was separated from my sister and now I'm pretty lost."

The woman chuckled.

"Well, I can help you get down to the help desk if you need it!"

Kiku felt immensely relieved.

"I would very much appreciate it." He agreed.

Another moment went by.

"I'm guessing I'll have to guide you, hmm?"

"I'm sorry." Kiku felt the need to apologize again.

A soft twittering laugh emerged from the woman, and Kiku felt her take his arm and start to walk at a slow pace, Kiku followed, glad to finally be able to stop his wandering.

"It's not an issue at all."

She promised.

Then she hesitated for a moment before asking the question Kiku had been expecting.

"You seem rather young, were you born blind?"

Kiku didn't even think.

"No, I was not."

The woman seemed to tell that this was worse then simply never being able to see at all.

Kiku spoke softly.

"I can remember what a lot of things look like, still, the memory has not gone away."

"I don't mean to pry, but what happened to you?"

Kiku knew that, had he had been caught in her situation, he would have eventually asked, curiosity was a powerful thing. He didn't feel the slightest bit perturbed at the question.

"Ah...I was caught in an explosion... I got burned, and things went black. When I woke up, and opened my eyes, things were still black. I couldn't see anymore."

"Oh, I'm so sorry. How long ago was that?"

Kiku sensed this would be the last question concerning the incident, so he thought about his response. Saying it was seventy years ago, long before this kind lady was ever born, would obviously not go well, so he responded accordingly.

"Three years ago. It is surprising how much you can hear. Or touch, by now I've learned how to tell each of my siblings apart just by how their hands feel."

The woman hummed.

"Thats amazing."

After a few more minutes spent in semi-comfortable silence, the woman spoke.

"We'll be taking the elevator." She warned.

Kiku nodded, he had his eyes closed at the moment, and he knew that the woman was interested by how he was able to navigate with just her arm on his and his sense of hearing.

She warned Kiku of when they were boarding the elevator, and warned him yet again to watch for the incoming people as they exited.

She noted how Kiku seemed on edge now that they were surrounded by people, bustling between stores.

"Is it strange for you, in crowds?"

Kiku hesitated.

"Not strange." He stated finally.

"Just...difficult. It is hard to hear the sounds of doors or people at tables or sitting down on benched or just standing in place with so many around. I do not see them, so a lot of noise makes it hard to avoid them."

Kiku got the feeling she had nodded before she said.

"That makes sense."

Another handful of minutes was spent navigating the crowded food court.

"I see the help desk, there's are five people pacing around circles. Two of them look the same."

The woman reported as they neared the desk.

"That's my family." Kiku murmured.

Then, of course, his eardrums were nearly blasted out.

"KIKU!"

Kiku jumped about a foot off the ground before he was hug tackled by his sister.

"I am so so so sorry! It's all my fault! I shouldn't have let go of your hand, angry mob or not!" She wailed, arms locked around her brother's chest.

Kiku patted her on the back.

"I'm fine, it's nothing to be upset about."

"KIKU!"

Kiku was, yet again, hugged, by several different people, and his sister still had no intention of letting go of him yet.

"I was so worried, aru!" One cried.

"Gege, what happened with the mob?" Kiku asked dully.

"...umm..."

"He got into a fist fight with this guy over fast food Chinese!" One of the look alike's proclaimed.

"Gege, why would you do something so childish?"

"Don't talk to me about childish, aru! Li Xiang set off fireworks!"

"Li Xiang, I thought we told you not to bring fireworks." Kiku seemed level headed about this.

"Like, you think I listened to you?"

The woman who had helped him down from the second level smiled as she watched the family reunion, she noticed how Kiku's blank brown eyes moved from face to face, he was trying to look everyone in the eye when he told them they needed to calm down, and she felt a small pang in her heart when she realized he was rather far off the mark each time.

When the hug attack finally came to an end, Yao spun around and bowed to the woman.  
"Thank you for helping my little brother, aru!" He cried.

The woman put up a hand, a small smile on her face.

"No problem, just don't lose him again, ok?"

"I do not think they will be letting me out of their sight for the next few months after this..." Kiku mumbled, now trying to pry his sister off of him, but Mei Mei had latched on and was refusing to release him.

The woman tilted her head.

"Good luck."

Kiku sighed.

"Thank you for your help. As for luck...I believe will need it."

The woman took her leave, and Kiku was left to struggle with his siblings all insisting as literally forming a protective circle around him.

As Kiku was dragged along by his sister, Yong Soo piped up.

"So, you guys want to do this again next weekend?"

* * *

 ** _What do you think? I dunno, just came to mind and I thought I'd throw it out there, so tell me what you think, and please give me some suggestions for other ideas to do with the idea of Blind!Japan! Thanks for reading!_**


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